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Come Now; Let Us Reason Together
Sex On Our Mind
I really wanted to avoid this subject, but I cannot seem to shake the fact that sex is always on our minds. Okay, maybe not always, but intrusive thoughts of sex cannot be avoided in our modern society, especially for men. Based on the news media outlets, it seemed like 2009 was the year of sex scandals. However, when you think about it, every year is the year of sex scandals, and 2010 will not be any different. Sex is forced into our consciousness through TV, magazines, newspapers, movies, billboard, radio, books, videos, music, the Internet, and even in Bible study. ESPN (Entertainment and Sports Programming Network) Magazine sent me their October 2009 issue with the cover image of a naked Serena Williams. What was ESPN thinking? Just because I like sports doesn’t mean I wanted to see a naked Serena Williams, although it is a mystery to me how she can move “all that” across the tennis court so quickly. Anyway, back to my subject. What’s going on? Why can’t we get this sex thing under control? I have given it considerable though and have made the following conclusion. The answer can be stated in the following way; God is to blame; humanity is at fault, and Christ is the solution. Let me explain.
God Is To Blame:
First, let me reject the need for so much external references about sex; it is unnecessary. Here’s why? When I ask people what is the first command God gave to humanity, many will refer to one of the Ten Commandments. The astute ones will recall the Garden of Eden and state the command not to eat of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. That is close, but still incorrect. The correct answer is that God commanded Adam and Eve to have sex. Genesis chapter one verse twenty-eight states, “And God blessed them. And God said to [commanded] them, “Be fruitful and multiply [have sex] and fill the earth…”” God, not only commanded Adam and Eve to have sex, but also placed within them the means and the desire to do so. Also, as a bonus or incentive, God made the act of sex pleasurable. The point I’m making is that the sex drive is fashioned in the DNA of all God’s creation, not just humans. You know the song; birds do it; bees do it… Therefore, we do not need any external reminders or stimulation about sex.
So, if God’s desire was for His creations (male with female only) to have sex, then all sex must be holy. Hold on; not so fast. The word holy or hallowed means to set apart from that which is common.
Let me use an analogy I read many years ago. If you took some logs and placed them in the middle of your family living room and set them on fire, the flames would likely burn down the entire house. Your family members may lose their life, and the damage may be irreparable. However, if you took the same logs and placed them in the fireplace, then the flames would provide heat, light, and a pleasant atmosphere. The logs in both scenarios are the same, only their setting is different. Sex is that way. The setting determines whether the sex is holy (righteous), or unholy (sinful). Sex must be taken seriously, if not houses (people) burn to the ground and lives are destroyed.
Okay, now that we know that God is responsible for our desire for sex, how did sex get so out of control? The two word theological answer is called; “The Fall.” Let me explain.
Mankind Is At Fault:
This command to have sex was given to Adam and Eve before their sin in the Garden of Eden. God’s desire was for a perfect Adam and a perfect Eve to duplicate the image and likeness of God in which they were created. However, that did not occur because Eve and Adam sinned (The Fall) by disobeying the command not to eat of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. The biblical record states,
“So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate. Then the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked… (Genesis 3:6-7).”
Their sin shattered the perfect image and likeness in which they were created. Even though the command and desire to have sex remained, it is now perverted by the moral corruption of Adam and Eve. Therefore, what we see throughout our society is the corruption or perversion of a holy thing.
One of the most prevalent perversions of the holy sex drive is the sin of fornication, which is the lack of contentment and commitment (Ezekiel 16:28-30 and 1 Corinthians 7:2). For an explanation on this perversion, let me give an example about myself. I love Eddy’s Home-Style Butter Pecan Ice cream. In my humble opinion, it is simply the best ice cream there is. However, I have been told that Breyers Butter Pecan Ice cream is better. My reply to those who think such a thing is, “I don’t care!” Breyers
may be better tasting, but I’m satisfied and content with Eddy’s. If I changed my preference every time I hear, see, or feel something that may be better, I will never reach contentment. I will forever be discontent, restless, and unhappy. Much like the advertisements of the variety of ice creams, the onslaught of sexual reference only causes us to become discontent with what we have. This discontent makes us wander off the reservation to what appears to be greener pastures. It is in yours and mine best interest that I pick one woman, devote myself to her, and accept her unique flavor— figuratively speaking.
I once heard Ravi Zechariah quote a European proverb that states, “He who loves one woman loves all women, but he who loves many women, loves none.” This is to say that the best way I can show my love and respect for all women is to dedicate my heart, body, soul, and mind to one woman. The man who desires to conquer every woman he sees doesn’t love any woman at all, only himself.
Another perversion of the holy sex drive is called the sin of adultery, which is the taking of what belongs to another. This is one of the Big Ten (Exodus 20 and 2 Samuel 11). I remember a commercial I saw that explains this sin in a humorous way.
The commercial begins with man sitting at a park bench eating from his box of Cheez-Its. Then, another man comes and sits beside him. The man with the Cheez-Its looks away at some pigeons or something, and when he looks back to reach in his box of Cheez-Its to get some more, he finds that the man who came and sat next to him has his hand in the box. The commercial ends with the tag line “Get your own box!”
The Cheez-Its thief is just like the adulterer, who covets that which belongs to someone else. The simple answer for avoiding adultery is to get your own box—figuratively speaking—and keep your hands out of someone else’s box.
Then there is, in my opinion, the ultimate perversion: pornography. The destruction that pornography has and is causing is too big now and growing too fast to measure.
During a congressional hearing on pornography in January 2006, Professor James B. Weaver III testified “The pornography industry is big business. One recent forecast projects 2005 revenues for the adult entertainment industry of $12.6 billion.” During the another congressional hearings in November 2004, Dr. Mary Anne Layden stated, “Research also indicates and my clinical experience supports that 40% of sex addicts will lose their spouse, 58% will suffer sever financial losses, and 27-40% will lose their job or profession. Those whose marriages don’t end, may find themselves increasing dissatisfied with their spouses appearance and sexual behavior and increasingly sexually acting out which leads to an increase in sexually transmitted diseases.” “Sex is not about intimacy, procreation or marriage. Sex is about predatory self-gratification, casual recreation, body parts, violence… and using women as entertainment.”
Although I take issue with some of Professor Thomas Szasz viewpoints, he reveals an important truth in stating, “Traditionally, sex has been a very private, secretive activity. Herein perhaps lies its powerful force for uniting people in a strong bond. As we make sex less secretive, we may rob it of its power to hold men and women together.”
Thomas Moore (1478 –1535) stated “The intimacy in sex is never only physical. In a sexual relationship we may discover who we are in ways otherwise unavailable to us, and at the same time we allow our partner to see and know that individual. As we unveil our bodies, we also disclose our persons.”
God’s word commands us to avoid sexual perversion. "For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God; …For God has not called us for impurity, but in holiness.” (1 Thessalonians 4:3-5, 7 ESV). The Apostle Paul also gives us some advice on what to do if we are tempted by sexual immorality: Run! "Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body" (1 Corinthians 6:18, ESV).
Christ Is The Solution:
Although it is tempting to say that if everyone were to get married then the problem would be solved. That would be an oversimplification. However, marriage is a means to fulfill the holy sexual drive and an aid in resisting temptations. The Scriptures admonish unmarried and widows, “… if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion." (1 Corinthians 7:8-9, ESV) However, we all know that a marriage licenses and vows, along with a minister, and the witness of family and friends does not eliminate sexual immorality. All sexual immorality is the result of a sin nature, and mankind’s sin nature is the result of original sin (The Fall). Only through faith in Christ Jesus, by the sovereign grace of God the Father under the unction of the Holy Spirit, can we accept and receive forgiveness, salvation, and a new nature. For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, whom God put forward as a propitiation by his blood, to be received by faith." (Romans 3:23-25, ESV)
The salvation provided by, through, and in Christ Jesus gives us a new nature and unbinds us to sin. However, we remain in a fallen world and housed in a corrupt body. Christian may continue to sin in this area; however, we do so by yielding to the sin not because of a bondage to sin as the unsaved. This yielding is because of our lack of submission to the power of the Holy Spirit within us.
Although, sexual sins are an affront to our holy, righteous Savior, they are forgivable. As Christian, we should recognize the power of our fleshly desires and the pressures of worldly stimulation about sex, and surrender or weakness to Christ whose strength is made perfect in our weakness. Only then can we avoid yielding to the lust of our flesh and live out our holy sexual lives to the Glory of God.
The Holy Bible, English Standard Version (ESV), Copyright 2000, 2001 by Crossway Bibles
